Behind Me.

Flying Ideas.

2011-05-23T20:18:00.001+08:00

I tend to think, formulate, and relate ideas in a very odd way.

Well, two things can proceed whenever my ideas go out-of-line:

1. Blathering. Due to uncontrolled popping of ideas, I utter and utter and utter and utter non-stop thoughts that are unrelated.

2. Silence and/or Mental block. Sometimes, the abounding-yet-muddled-ideas in my brain just paralyze me to talk.

Whenever I converse with people, worry automatically blows in because I might not be able to construct and express the things that I really wanted to say. And there’s this fear that other people might perceive me as weird or abnormal person.

A friend of mine taught me to always bring a notebook and a pen to jot down relevant things. Another friend told me to just speak up if there’s a chance.

A week ago, during my quiet time, God spoke to me through this verse:

Luke 21: 14-15 “But make up your mind not to worry… I will give you words and wisdom...”

I am really claiming this verse! Now, through God’s grace, I am already on the process of knocking over my flying ideas. :)

When you talk to God and when God talks to you...

2011-05-23T20:16:00.000+08:00

I really enjoyed our Training for Victory Class for today.. It was such a blast! I was able to make new friends, learned new things and most importantly, I was able to know God more. I was really blown away by our discussion about God’s Word and Prayer. I just wanna share the top 3 things that really pounded me bigtime..

1. As believers, reading the Word and Praying are not obligations. They are privileges.

If we think of reading the Bible and praying as mere obligations or responsibilities, we will surely end up exhausted and not savoring our relationship with Him at all. May we always be reminded that everytime God talks to us and everytime we talk to God, it is a privilege. Why? Simply because we are talking to God, the Creator of the heavens and the earth.

2. Spending time/ Quiet time with God is a whole-day basis.

Yes, it is substantial for us to set a specific time to meet with God in a day but talking to Him should not only happen once a day. If Pres.Obama gives you the access to call or text Him anytime of the day, will you not grab the chance? You will, right? : ) My point is that the God of the Universe has already given us the access to talk to Him whenever and wherever we want and may we desire to spend each second of our lives with Him because He is our loving Father and we are His children.

3. The written word should lead us to the Living Word.

The goal of reading the Bible is not to accomplish a book or just to have information or knowledge about church history or bible characters. The purpose of the Bible is for us to have a deeper and closer relationship with God, the Living Word. The more we get to know Him, the more that we get astonished by who He is in our lives.

“ The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14

Let’s Kiss Pessimism Goodbye

2009-09-21T13:35:00.000+08:00

When you feel lost..

When the pain seems irreversible..

When your heart feels like an empty vacuum..

When relationships remain unrestored..

When a problem gets bigger..

When your burden gets heavier..

When sick and hurting people continue to suffer..

When your prayer seems unheard..

When dreams are still unreachable..

When love doesn’t prevail..

When you feel rejected and isolated..

When your loved ones don’t understand you..

When people give the impression of being selfish and insensitive..

When life seems so hopeless..

..Don’t dare feel defeated and depressed. Remain faithful. Don’t dwell too much on the negative aspects of your life. Leave behind all your worries, sadness and losses in life and focus on the bright and wonderful future you have with God. Stay out of your own little pessimistic world and start believing that everything will turn around. Remember that our thought affects our attitude. Our attitude affects our actions. Moreover, our action affects our future. It’s like a chain reaction. So dare to unpack all those negative thoughts and allow Him to replace it with new, refreshing, motivating and beautiful things. Respond optimistically even though pessimism is trying to invade your mind. Nothing and no one can ever defeat you. Find strength in Him. Find joy in Him. Find hope in Him. If we change our thinking, God will change our lives.

“ Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life which God has promised to those who believe in Him.”

-- James 1:12

FAITHFUL

2009-09-03T10:31:00.000+08:00

I’m waiting

for the day of victory.

I’m waiting

for my shining moment.

I’m waiting for You.

And I completely surrender everything.

I trust your perfect time.

I know it will pass by.

And while I’m waiting,

I will serve you.

I will wait with a joyful heart.

I will wait with nothing but my love for You.

August 27, 2009

WARNING: This i-don’t-know-whether-its-a-poem-or-not isn’t encouraging.

2009-09-03T10:27:00.002+08:00

freefall

I heard her footsteps

She was walking closer to the furthest part

Little by little, step by step and nearer to her downfall

She could feel it

And she really liked the feeling

As if anyone couldn’t resist her

The roof’s corner was hard to believe

All she could see was a translucent sky w/c never gave her the light

Where she stood was a perfect place to cause her non-existence

Inexplicably incomparable

Without cogitation,

She made her final move while having the last air taken into her lungs

Gravity started pulling her down from the top

Wind started to touch her inscrutable face

The air tried to hinder but it just couldn’t

Until one final blow ended the fluttering

Her hands were cold

Her cheeks were pale

Her blood formed a halo around her head

Now, it’s just her own piece of heaven

And no one could ever take it away

For her, it was a long sweet loss

It was the beginning of the end

..Of her pain

..Of the bitterness

..Of all the agony

Then she bid goodbye to the world of solitude

August 25, 2009

big difference

2009-09-03T10:23:00.001+08:00

I was once lost.

I was nowhere in the dark,

trying to conceal myself.

I was drowning.. submersed in sins.

I thought no one could ever save me.

I died... almost.

But now, I am found.

All I see is the Light,

which directs me into the open.

I am in deep regret.. feeling guilty for my wrongdoings.

Thankfully, Someone rescued me.

I was born... again.

September 1, 2009

a poem in the middle of my review

2009-09-03T10:09:00.000+08:00

This is my heart's desire

To glorify your Name

To stand for my generation

And to shout to the ends of the world

How great are your works

How awesome are your words

It is for You that I live

It is You who make me live

When adversities are trying to weaken me

It is You who give me the strength

When problems seem to confuse me

It is You who bless me with wisdom

When frustrations tear me apart

It is You who make me whole

Oh, Lord, Do I deserve this?

Do I deserve this kind of love?

I’m nothing but an imperfect sinful human

Who use to hurt You and break Your heart

Do I still deserve You?

Endless gratitude and praise to You, Oh Lord.

Your love is amazing.

Beautiful.

Fantastic.

Abba Father,

Never ever let me go.

Amazing Love.

2009-08-10T14:20:00.000+08:00

One day, I woke early in the morning to watch the sunrise. Ah, the beauty of God's creation is beyond description. As I watched, I praised God for His beautiful work. As I sat there, I felt the Lord's presence with me.

He asked me, "Do you love me?"

I answered, "Of course, God! You are my Lord and Saviour!"

Then He asked, "If you were physically handicapped, would you still love me?"

I was perplexed. I looked down upon my arms, legs and the rest of my body and wondered how many things I wouldn't be able to do -- the things that I took for granted? (confused)

And I answered, "It would be tough Lord, but I would still love You."

Then the Lord said, "If you were blind, would you still love my creation?"

How could I love something without being able to see it? Then I thought of all the blind people in the world and how many of them still loved God and His creation.

So I answered, "Its hard to think of it Confused , but I would still love you."

The Lord then asked me, "If you were deaf, would you still listen to my word?"

How could I listen to anything being deaf?

Then I understood. Listening to God's Word is not merely using our ears, but our hearts.

I answered, "It would be tough (confused), but I would still listen to Your word."

The Lord then asked, "If you were mute, would you still praise My Name?"

How could I praise without a voice? Then it occurred to me: God wants us to sing from our very heart and soul. It never matters what we sound like. And praising God is not always with a song, but when we are persecuted, we give God praise with our words of thanks.

So I answered, "Though I could not physically sing, I would still praise Your Name."

And the Lord asked, "Do you really love Me?"

With courage and a strong conviction, I answered boldly, "Yes Lord! I love You because You are the one and true God!"

I thought I had answered well, but God asked, "THEN WHY DO YOU SiN?"

I answered, "Because I am only human. I am not perfect."

"THEN WHY iN TiMES OF PEACE DO YOU STRAY THE FURTHEST? WHY ONLY iN TiMES OF TROUBLE DO YOU PRAY iN EARNEST?"

No answers -- only tears.

The Lord continued: "Why only sing at fellowships and retreats? Why seek Me only in times of worship? Why ask things so selfishly? Why ask things so unfaithfully?"

The tears continued to roll down my cheeks.

"Why are you ashamed of Me? Why are you not spreading the good news? Why in
times of persecution, you cry to others when I offer My shoulder to cry on? Why make excuses when I give you opportunities to serve in My Name?"

I tried to answer, but there was no answer to give.

"You are blessed with life. I made you not to throw this gift away. I have blessed you with talents to serve Me, but you continue to turn away. I have revealed My Word to you, but you do not gain in knowledge. I have spoken to you but your ears were closed. I have shown
My blessings to you, but your eyes were turned away. I have sent you servants, but you sat idly by as they were pushed away. I have heard your prayers and I have answered them all.

"DO YOU TRULY LOVE ME ?"

I could not answer. How could I? I was embarrassed beyond belief. I had no excuse. What could I say to this? My heart had cried out and the tears had flowed, I said, "Please forgive me Lord. I am unworthy to be Your child."

The Lord answered, " That is My Grace, My child."

I asked, " Then why do you continue to forgive me? Why do You love me so?"

The Lord answered, "Because you are My creation. You are my child. I will never abandon you. When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you. When you shout with joy, I will laugh with you. When you are down, I will encourage you. When you fall, I will raise you up. When you are tired, I will carry you. I will be with you till the end of days, and I will love you forever."

Never had I cried so hard before. How could I have been so cold? How could I have hurt God as I had done?

I asked God, "How much do You love me?"

The Lord stretched out His arms, and I saw His nail-pierced hands. I bowed down at the feet of Christ, my Saviour. And for the first time, I truly prayed.

Hebrews 13:5 (GNB) "Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, 'I will never leave you; I will never abandon you'."

SOURCE: http://hanniyokota.multiply.com/journal/item/33/amazing_love

Nasaan Ka Kabataan?

2009-08-10T10:21:00.005+08:00

Hapon ng Linggo. Umiihi ako sa banyo nang marinig ko sa telebisyon na may Cory Aquino Special Tribute daw ang The Buzz. Ganun kalakas ang volume ng telebisyon namin ng hapon na iyon, abot hanggang banyo. Ganun na lang din ang excitement ko na mapanood ang nasabing tribute. Hindi ako pro-cory at lalo namang hindi rin ako anti-cory. Sakto lang. Nung nalaman ko ngang pumanaw na sya ay hindi ako umiyak gaya ng iba. Nalungkot, oo. Pero umiyak, nunca. Dahil siguro nung mga panahong nagaganap ang edsa 1 ay sperm palang ako sa katawan ng tatay ko. Wala akong ideya sa buong detalye ng sinasabing edsa 1. Ang alam ko lang, ginanap yun noong February 25. Yun lang

Hindi ko napanood ang Necrological Service para kay Pres.Cory. Kahit nung huling misa na inalay sakanya, pati yung paghatid sakanya sa sementeryo na balita ko’y di mahulugang karayom daw sa dami ng tao, lahat yun, hindi ko napanood. Kaya naman sabik at may halong kuryosidad akong masaksihan ang tribute na ginawa ng The Buzz. Si Kuh Ledesma muna, umawit sya ng opening song at hindi ko alam ang title. Lumabas si Boy Abunda na napansin kong bitin ang pantalon at walang medyas kasama si Ruffa Gutierrez na bongga ang outfit. Ayan na, introduction na. Hindi ko alam kung bakit excited akong mapanood yung tribute na yun. Hanggang sa dumaan ang ilang minuto, ilang patalastas, ilang interviews sa mga malalapit na tao sa buhay ni Pres. Cory, at napansin ko na lang na nangingilid na pala ang luha sa aking mga mata. Luha ng awa? Hindi. Luha ng pakikidalamhati? Hindi. Luha dahil napuwing lang ako? Lalong hindi. Madami akong nalaman at narealize. Iba pala talaga yung nagawa ni Mrs.Cory para sa ating bansa. Exceptional. Amazing. Awesome. Kala ko, naging presidente lang sya. Yun lang. Pero hanep yung ginawa nya. Sya pala ang bonggang-bonggang nagbalik ng demokrasya sa ating bansa. Sya ang matapang na nagbuklod sa bawat Pilipino upang malabanan ang pamamahalang diktatorya. Sya pala ang dahilan ng kalayaan natin ngayon. (Palakpakan!!!) Oo, napagaralan ko to nung nasa elementarya pa lamang ako pero parang ngayon lang na-absorb sa pagkatao ko. Astig talaga.. Imagine, sya ang dahilan kung bakit may karapatan na tayong ipaglaban kung ano ang sa tingin natin ang tama..kung bakit may freedom of the press..kung bakit nakakagala pa rin ang mga kabataan ng hanggang hating-gabi kahit may bagansya na.. (Tsk..Pasaway..) At ngayong nabanggit ko na ang kabataan, at talagang nahirapan akong mag-isip kung pano ko i-se-segue ang salitang kabataan, eto ang tanong: hindi ba kelangan nating magpasalamat sa mga taong lumaban na kahit isipin man nating cheesy at corny, lumaban sila para sa bayan..para sa hinaharap..at nakaka-touch kasi kabilang tayo sa hinaharap na pinaglaban nila. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam diba? Ineenjoy natin ang kalayaang hindi natin pinaghirapan. Pero hanggang ganun na lang ba tayo? Puro sarap na lang ba? Puro enjoy-enjoy na lang? Hindi ba responsibilidad din nating ipagpatuloy ang pakikibaka? Mananatili ba tayong makasarili? Di ba tayo nga ang tinuring na pag-asa ng bayan?

Pero anong ginagawa natin ngayon?
Sino na tayo ngayon?
Ano na tayo ngayon?

Hindi ko alam pero saka ko narealize na malaki ang papel ng bawat kabataan sa kinabukasan ng ating bansa. Malaki ang magiging responsibilidad ng bawat kabataan ngayon sa mga kabataan sa susunod na heneresyon. Sasayangin na lang ba natin ang pinaghirapang pakikibaka ng mga tao nung edsa 1 upang makamit ang kalayaan? Ang hirap..pawis..mga pangarap na isina-alang-alang..mga taong nagbuwis ng buhay..at ang demokrasyang tinatamasa natin ngayon, masasayang na lang ba? Mapupunta na lang ba sa wala?

Naririnig ko na ang luha at hinagpis ng hinaharap. Kung mananatili tayong ganito, ang auditory hallucination kong ito ay malamang magkatotoo.

Nasan ka? Nasan kang inaasahan ng bansa? Nasan kang pagasa ng ating abang bayan? Nasan ka kabataan?

PS. Wala akong balak sumali sa ano mang grupo, alyansa o rally at hayaang mabasa ng tubig-bumbero o masugatan ng mga bakal na shield ng mga pulis.. In our own little ways, we can change our country. We can change the world. Just be responsible enough to take the responsibility. (Ano raw?) Haha. Just get up ang get movin’.. Sabi nga ng pinakasikat na si Anonymous, “Action springs not from thought, but from readiness for responsibility." Share ko lang.

nagnanangis na damdamin

2009-08-08T21:47:00.003+08:00

hindi pa ba sapat ang pagibig..
upang muli tayong lumigaya?

hindi pa ba sapat ang pagibig..
upang maglaho ang pagdurusa?

hindi pa ba sapat ang pagibig..
upang mundo nati'y muling magsama?

hindi pa ba sapat ang pagibig..
upang mapawi ang bawat luha?

hindi pa ba sapat ang pagibig..
upang siya'y iwan mo?

hindi pa ba sapat ang pagibig..
upang di ka tuluyang lumisan?

hindi pa ba sapat?
hindi pa ba?

You are God's Workmanship

2009-07-25T23:03:00.001+08:00

Workmanship means "a work in process".. His word tells us that you are not yet a finished product. He is continually molding you into someone He wants you to be. The key to achieve success is not to be discouraged with the past or present happenings in your life. Believe it or not, He is already moving you toward the greater and unbelievable things.

When you are tempted to be discouraged, always remember that tomorrow is getting better and brighter. Always think about His promises. Hold on to them. You may think that you've got a long long way to go but looking back, you'll realize how far you've already come. You may not achieve everything you want and you may not be everything that you want but you can still be thankful to Him because you are not the person you used to be.

Today, nothing is going to put you down because your hope is in God, the Ultimate and Almighty Creator of All.

apollo.

2009-07-24T17:17:00.002+08:00

Galak.
Pagibig.
Pagasa.

Umasa..
nang umasa..
nang umasa..
sa wala..

Luha.
Sakit.
Kabiguan.

KAMATAYAN???

paranoid.

2009-07-24T17:16:00.000+08:00

im standing alone..

behind the shadow of darkness..

i don’t wanna go anywhere..

im afraid..

afraid that i might get caught by an unknown entity..

i can’t see the bright lights shining on me..

i want to disappear..

im slowly dyin’..

en bon.

2009-07-24T17:14:00.000+08:00

Oh, God, i am going nowhere,

standing still in the shadow of darkness,

I wanna scream to conceal the silence that is slowly consuming me.

I wanna cry to release all the sentiments inside.

Attempting to fight alone seems so futile.

Pretending to be tough makes me weak, really weak.

Everything may not be flowing smoothly,

but I believe, everything will turn out fine.

ex-tudyante.

2009-07-20T00:25:00.001+08:00

Naalala ko nung nagaaral pa ko. Laging busy. Lagi akong wala sa bahay. Late na natutulog dahil sa dami ng dapat gawin. Minsan ndi na nga ko kumakain. Wala lang. Kinukumpara ko lang yung buhay ko ngayong graduate na ko sa buhay ko nung nagaaral pa ko. Ang laki ng pinagkaiba. Ang laki ng pinagbago. Kung dati'y 6am ang gising ko, ngayon, 6am na ang tulog ko. Kung dati'y halos lunch na lang kinakain ko, ngayon kumpleto na, breakfast..snack..lunch..snack..dinner..snack.. Kung dati'y may araw-araw akong allowance, ngayon? ASA PA KO! Malupit ang buhay graduate. Wahaha! Sa mga graduate na tulad ko, siguro naiisip nyo rin ang mga naiisip ko. Masaya na malungkot na nakakatawa na nakakasawa ang buhay estudyante. Di ba? Noon...Araw-araw natin nakikita mga friends natin. May allowance/kickbacks tayo. Assignment/projects/casestudy/research/revalida.Out-of-town na duties. Nakakaaning na profs/CI. Baha. Foodcourt. Mga iba't-ibang uri ng estudyante na kumukumpleto sa sirkulasyon ng buong eskwelahan. Iba satin, maituturing na dakilang estudyante talaga. Yung gustong-gusto talaga ng salitang 'study'. Yung tipong papasok palang yung prof sa classroom, magre-raise na agad ng hand para magrecite. Yun ang mga tipo ng estudyante na studious at epal. Meron naman napasok lang para makipagdate. Sila ang mga cant-live-w/o-my-bf/gf-type., in short malandi. Iba, pumasok lang para magdota. Iba naman, pumapasok lang para ipakita at ipagsigawan sa buong mundo na " Hello!!! May tatlong kilong make-up ako sa mukha ko!!! Pansin nyo ba?!?!" Yung iba, pumapasok lang para masabing estudyante sila. Mema lang. Hay. Pero kung tututuusin, kakamiss ang buhay estudyante. Yung tsansa na maraming natutunan at nalalaman na bago. Ito naman talaga ang bukod tanging layunin ng pagiging estudyante- ang matuto. Depende sayo kung ano gusto mo matutunan. Gusto mo ba matutong magdrawing? Mag-Fine arts ka. Gusto mo ba magpatayo ng buildings? Mag-Engineering or Architecture ka. Gusto mo ba ma-master ang Vital Signs? Mag-Nursing ka. Kanya-kanyang hilig lang yan. Kanya-kanyang gusto. Ika nga sa ingles, "passion". Pero kung iisipin natin, hindi kelangan pang maging estudyante upang matuto. Sa simpleng paguusap lang ng dalawang magkaibigan ay maaari na silang matuto sa isa't-isa. Sa simpleng karanasan, marami na tayong matutunan. Sabi nga, pag labas mo ng bahay nyo, dapat "empty the cup so that additional water won't spill off". English yun. Wala lang. Sa History nga madami tayong Philosophers at Genius na natuto kahit hindi nag-aral sa eskwelahan. Take note ha, mga genius sila! (Hindi ko sinasabing okay lang hindi mag-aral ha!) Hindi naman porke hindi ka nakauniporme pang eskwelahan o hindi ka nagbabayad ng tinatawag nating tuition fee o wala kang ginagawang assignments/thesis/research, e hindi ka na pwedeng tawagin na estudyante. Lahat tayo ay estudyate sa kahit na anong paraan, sa kahit na anong aspeto.

Oh, well.. sa blog na to, gusto ko lang ikumbinsi ang sarili ko na my learning didn't end last April 24, 2009. Dapat pa kong maging masigasig upang matuto. Madami pang mga bagay ang dapat kong malaman- sa buhay, sa pag-ibig, sa Diyos, sa mundo, sa buong universe. Gusto ko pa malaman kung bakit pangit ang lasa ng grass jelly..kung bakit boxing ring ang tawag sa boxing ring, e square naman sya.. etc..marami pa kong tanong na wala pang sagot. Marami pa kong gustong imbentuhin. Phone charger na solar..Contrast Dye na pwede sa mga taong allergic sa seafoods..At gusto ko magpatayo ng ospital sa gitna ng dagat at sa outer space.. Para magawa ko to, kelangan ko malaman kung pano.. at kung bakit.. Dahil ba gusto ko talagang makatulong o nag-aadik lang talaga ako. Basta, gusto ko pa matuto. Marami pang mga impormasyon, ideya at teorya ang naghihintay sakin. At hinihintay ko rin. Ayokong tawagin na ex-tudyante. Gusto ko maging estudyante fo'evah..

Best and Worst Feelings in the World

2009-07-17T10:57:00.001+08:00

Na-inspire akong gumawa ng blog about one of the the best and worst feelings in the world aside from being loved, encountering God, magkaroon ng kaaway etc.. Simple things lang ang mga dahilan ng mga andito sa list ko. Pero nakakatawa kasi ang laki ng effect.

BEST FEELINGS:

1. kumain ng chocolate, ice cream, cake and/or bananacue habang nag-i-internet.
2. gawing soup ang gravy sa kfc.
3. magpapawis sabay tapat sa aircon o electric fan.
4. feeling ng after jumerbs.
5. humatching.
6. umutot ng may tunog.
7. magburp ng sunod-sunod.
8. ngitian ng crush.
9. maglaro ng Mafia Wars.
10. laruin sa bibig ang sago ng Zagu.
11. amuyin ang rugby, acetone, nailpolish, pintura, dyaryo, lumang libro at bagong barnis na kahoy.
12. magpamasahe.
13. mangagat.
14. magpakamot sa likod.
15. kumain ng tatlong Lucky Me Pancit Canton w/ soft-boiled egg at wag mamigay.
16. magpa-pedicure at manicure.
17. feeling ng bagong gupit na buhok.
18. magshopping.
19. magtoothbrush.
20. paputukin yung bilog-bilog sa case plastic ba tawag dun???

WORST FEELINGS:

1.mawalan ng gamit.
2. nasa lrt ka at hindi ka nakababa sa estasyong dapat mong babaan dahil islaman ang mga tao.
3. nasa jeep ka at yung katabi mong ale/mama ay tulog at halos gawin ka ng kama sa pagkakasandal sayo.
4. marinig ang tunog ng bakal na nag-i-slide sa sementadong kalsada.
5. umakyat sa mataas na hagdanan gaya nung sa LRT.
6. feeling ng nakasakay sa elevator mula ground floor hanggang sa 20+ floor.
7. feeling ng sinisinok.
8. makaamoy ng utot.
9. kumain ng pechay.
10. maitama ang balakang sa corner ng table.
11. lumusong sa baha.
12. matama ang pinky toe sa kahit na anong matigas na bagay.
13. tumae ka at malamang hindi maflush ang bowl.
14. mawalan ng tubig habang nagsha-shampoo.
15. makaapak ng tae.
16. magjoke sabay walang nag-react o tumawa.

So there..

Move.

2009-07-15T13:12:00.003+08:00

Its another ordinary day for me. I woke up very late, had hotsilog for my brunch and watched my grandma's favorite LALOLA. Now, I am planning to do nothing. *SO BUM* Actually, I really wanna do DVD Marathon but I promised to myself last night that I'll be starting to read my nursing books. I rarely open them since our graduation day! I was talking to my brother's girlfriend last week and she opened up a topic about TB. So there, she told me that she had TB when she was still a child. I freezed. Nah! I forgot the term for childhood TB! WTH! It's just a simple term that every Nursing grad should know. I had to open my book to look for the term which is Primary Complex. I felt so dumb that moment. So last night, I was reviewing the things I've done in the passed 3 months. Were they productive? Were they worth of my time? Or did I just waste my 3 months doing nothing!? Hmm.. I had my Red Cross Training for a month. I had my Call Center Training but I didn't finish the course because my parents didn't want me to continue it. What else did I do? Oh, yeah.. I was busy with the Freshmen Night, went to EAC to invite freshmen but unfortunately, no one of them came. Honestly, I was sad but I wasn't disappointed at all. I won't say that "Atleast, I've poured out all my time and efforts. Ndi ko na kasalanan na walang pumunta." Maybe, it's not yet the right time. :D I've been a slave in my own house. Haha! I do almost all the chores. I do the cleaning, cooking and dishwashing. But the interesting part is I already know how to cook adobo! Yebah! There was a day wherein we had adobong sitaw for lunch and adobong baboy for dinner. Haha! I just love cooking adobo and surprisingly, my family loves my adobo! Yesterday, I cooked Ampalaya with Egg for breakfast and it was overcooked. Tsk. I blame the Mafia Wars for that! I also cooked Pinakbet for the first time and my grandma told me it was really palatable to the taste. I really had no plans of learning how to cook . But right now, it's like I wanna learn how to cook every food that I taste and every delicacies that I see in the television.. Hahah! The ability to cook is really in the Reyes' Blood. *Ilocano eh!* Haha! Anyway, so much for the cooking and food thing.. Hehe. What else have I achieved? Oh, yes..I'm done with my one2one with Dax. Yihee! Labit! Everytime we meet, I really get inspired. My one2one session with her made me more zealous to God!

While I was thinking how to end this blog, I realized that there were lots of good things that has happened in the passed 3 months and lots of lessons to be learned! I may felt bum sometimes but I will not stay bum forever. Haha. Move. Move. Move!

THE END.

lost and found

2009-07-14T20:23:00.000+08:00

I found myself alone in my room.

kneeling down.

crying.

praying.

Every fabric of my soul is yearning.

for truth.

for hope.

for love.

I will keep on seeking You.

Only You.

Must Read!

2009-07-13T12:59:00.000+08:00

I was browsing the internet to look for short stories to read and I found these beautiful stories! Hope they'll inspire you too!

She is..

2009-07-08T15:35:00.000+08:00

..my latest addiction. Harharhar....

What I've learned so far ..

2009-06-28T22:43:00.000+08:00

What I've learned so far in my 20 years of..

LOVE:
1. Love is God.
2. Love hurts. But once you learn how to deal with the pain, moving forward is as easy as ABC.
3. Love is not love until you give it away.
4. The best feeling in the world is being loved.
5. You can't just be friends with the person you're in love with.
6. We don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend to make us feel loved.. that is why we have families and friends.
7. Being single is not synonymous to being loveless.:D

FRIENDSHIP:
1. Your best friend is God.
2. People who insult you infront of your face are considered as true friends. When they begin to say something behind your back, they are fake!
3. A true friend is someone whom you can lean on.
4. Remember, not all friends are TRUE FRIENDS.
5. True friendship does not require similarities. It's just a matter of understanding each others differences.
6. It's better to be alone than to be in bad company.
7. True friends will always be there to help you even without you asking for it.

LIFE (in general):
1. A life without God is useless.
2. Dreaming alone is a not a dream. But dreaming with someone else is the beginning of reality.
3. Life is a series of ups and downs.
4. Mothers know best! They won't do anything that would harm their children.
5. Don't let failures stumble you.
6. Not having the courage to try is the beginning of failure.
7. You can't please everybody.
8. There's no such thing as destiny. But there is "God's Will".
9. In order to be successful, you must work hard and be patient.
10. Don't dwell too much in the past. Move on. Let go.
11. And lastly, We only have one life to live. So make every moment count. (VCF)

So i believe, my 20 years was well spent. Everyday, we encounter a lot of things-challenges, achievements, mistakes, failures etc. All we have to do is to check ourselves ,everyday, if we are really growing in all areas in our lives. Challenges and achievements should motivate us to work harder. Mistakes should give us lessons to learn. And failures should encourage us to hope and strive for more. Life is short. We don't know what will happen next so make the best out of it. Keep up the faith in Him. Remember that you are blessed and don't forget to be thankful always!

FORWARDED SMS.

2009-06-25T21:55:00.000+08:00

Guideposts for life:

1. Be kind to yourself.

2. Looking good is feeling good.

3. You are not out to please everybody.

4. Expect a little but do your best and dream big!

5. Smile a lot! It's healthy!

6. Laugh your heart out! Be silly once in a while!

7. Live light and keep it simple.

8. Failure is a good starting point.

9. You are blessed. Don't forget to say thanks!

10. Have faith. God loves us.

*this message inspired me a lot..*

blah.blah.blah.

2009-06-25T09:56:00.000+08:00

I woke up with a mild flu.. Nah.. it's not H1N1. Harhar. I have plans to meet some friends but due to my terrible condition, I have to cancel it. Hmm. it's raining. I love the rain so much. I love the cool wind that gently caresses my body. I love the sound of the raindrops that slowly brings me to my emo moments. Hihi. I have lots of things to do today. I don't know when and how to start. Haha. Im feeling a bit lazy. LOL. Does this post make any sense? :D

success..

2009-06-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

Whenever I hear this word, I always ask myself " What is my definition for success?". I find it sometimes so complicated and hard to define. And here's a fact, I get confused whenever I come up to the realization that I've been struggling so hard to achieve success and the bad thing is, I don't even know what success means to me. I am aiming for success and since I can't define it, I won't be able to know if I've already reached success or not. Sounds really odd, isn't it? I asked a few friends of mine about their opinion regarding this matter and here are their answers:

Friend#1: Success is Contentment.
Friend#2: Success is the accumulation of all the positive things that are happening in your life.
Friend#3: Success is when you're already rich and you can have anything you want.
Friend#4: Success is achieving your goal w/o cheating.

I was really amazed the moment I heard their answers. It's not because they have these good-to-hear- answers but because they know exactly what they are pursuing in their lives. They know exactly when to say that they've already reached success.

After a couple of days of thinking and constructing my own definition of success, I've finally made a few ones and I was surprised to realize that I do have lots of hidden thoughts and ideas in my mind. Yihee! Well.. eherm.. Success, for me, is when you have achieved your goals and dreams and you are not the only one who benefits on it. Instead, you can share it to your family and friends. You use it to bless other people. In addition, success is reaching something that even though it's not really your goal, you'd still feel very happy about it because you know in your heart that it is His goal for you. We sometimes think that success is a very big thing with very big representations- money, fame etc. What we need to understand is that success is not merely about all these material and earthly things. Well, they can somehow represent it but it won't really give you the true essence of success.

How about you? What is your definition for success?

ARAPAAP nga kasla CARTOON

2009-06-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

Apay kastuy?
Kasla nak la bagtit.
Kagur-gura ka la idi.
Tatta, kayat kan.
Madik ammu ti aramidek.
Kayat ku agtambling.
Kayat ku agsirku.
Nu makita ka nga sabali ti kadwam,
makasangit nak nukwa.
Tatta nga ay-ayaten kan,
apay madi nak ay-ayatenen?
Tatta nga mail-iliwak kinyam,
apay madi ka mail-iliw kinyakun?
Marigrigatan nak.
Masaksaktan nak.
Maysa ka latta nga arapaapen.
Arapaap nga madi agbalin.
Arapaap nga kasla cartoon.